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gl1tter-dust

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currently running on 2 hrs of sleep

in the last several weeks, mass panic surrounding this virus has taken more from me than the virus itself

I'm doing everything I can to cope with that, which mostly means identifying and organizing everything that motivates me

restructuring my life to reserve as much energy as I can for the things that make me happy

expect gradual updates and changes to my online presence


stay safe, stay distant

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JEsusx I really only posted 6 journals in 2019 huh

Last year's:
insert Dallon Weekes quoteOof this is late
Last year's:

1: What did you do last year that you'd never done before?
Met Dallon Weekes (who I’d been waiting to meet for almost 3 years), kissed someone romantically, received a commission order, dropped out of college, moved out on my own
2: Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for this year?
Not one of last year’s resolutions was kept so this year I’m trying again, and making a few of them more measurable and practical:
This one’s particularly important because it’s a promise to my boyfriend but treating myself better by not making self-deprecating jokes- also by going to bed before midnight, washing my face every day, eating a meal before noon and a meal before 7 p.m plus a snack, brushing my teeth every morning and night, as well as bathing 3-4 times a week. I'm thinking I’ll focus on the first 2 in January, then add 1 in February, another one in March and so



1: What did you do this year that you'd never done before?
lived with a roommate!! saw Greer, Z Berg, Ryan Ross, Starset, Against Me!, Ice Nine Kills, Spendtime Palace and Thursday all live!! and almost died in a mosh pit. YAY

2: Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
okay so the first resolution I made last year was to treat myself better and take better care of myself, which.. has been up and down, but overall successful. I didn't even come close to the other 2 rip.

3: Did anyone close to you give birth?
YES my stepsister to a lil boy named Isaiah <3

4: Did anyone close to you die?
Yep and we're not getting into it

5: What countries did you visit?
I wonder if I'll ever leave the state again

6: What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019?
honestly I might start calling my goals Things I Want instead of Resolutions because I said I wanted 3 more tats in 2019 and I got exactly 3

7: What dates from 2019 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
July 11 - celebrated 1 year with DogeDays 
August 4 - started living with The-Pen-Is-Dead 
October 31 - Frank Iero turned 38 and MCR reunited
December 20th - MCR'S FIRST SHOW IN 7 AND A HALF YEARS WTF WTF
December 28 - DogeDays MOVED IN!!!!!!

8: What was your biggest achievement of the year?
maintaining a healthy relationship for over a yEAR
doing well in college

9: What was your biggest failure?
everything else lel

10: Did you suffer illness or injury?
Bruh I had like 4 mental breakdowns

11: What was the best thing you bought?
concert tickets, tattoos and gifts for friends

12: Whose behaviour merited celebration?
DogeDays, everyone I stan, Greta Thunberg, a precious Australian lad named Rylan who may have stolen just a bit of my heart 

13: Whose behaviour made you appalled?
besides the obvious candidates (J.K. Rowling, Onision, Ronnie Radke, Jessicka Addams, the entire US cabinet, the KKK, the WBC, Alex Jones, Piers Morgan, Die Antwoord, Steve Negrete and the Bennett twins from Steam Powered Giraffe), I have to give props to Hannah Brown (discobones) and Connie Hernandez (co32minus) for being some of the most manipulative, entitled cunts currently slipping under the public's radar. 

14: Where did most of your money go?
concerts... oop s

15: What did you get really, really, really excited about?
MCR CAME BACK and my bOYFRIEND MOVED IN
need I reiterate

16: What song(s) will always remind you of 2019?
The Kids from Yesterday by My Chemical Romance
Surrender The Night by My Chemical Romance
Dance Macabre by Ghost
Great Party by Frank Iero

17: Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder?, b) thinner or fatter?, c) richer or poorer?
a) always, always happier
b) I fall to see how this is anyone’s business and what exactly is lost or gained from knowing 
c) I have $30 in my bank account

18: What do you wish you'd done more of?
drawing, writing, budgeting and spending time outside 

19: What do you wish you'd done less of?
twitter

20: How did you spend Christmas?
eating

21: Did you fall in love in 2019?
you ask as if I ever fell out 

22: What were your favourite TV shows?
Lucifer, The Umbrella Academy, Stranger Things 3, The OA

..and Don’t Tell The Bride 

23: Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
please go appreciate her artwork (^: she deserves more exposure (^: don't mention me unless she asks how you found her (^: (^: 


24: What was the best book you read?
not a book but several stories from the SCP Foundation were amazing 

25: What was your greatest musical discovery?
Ice Nine Kills, Ghost, Billie Eilish & Z Berg (thank u Avery)

26: What did you want and get?
tattoos!!

27: What did you want and not get?
a furbaby ;~;

28: What were your favourite films of the year?
in order of when I watched them:
The Shape of Water
Labyrinth
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
The Crow

none of them came out this year I know, I don’t go to theaters that often, shhhhh

29: What one thing made your year?
I bet at least one of you reading this can guess

30: How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2019?
vaguely grunge and Lacking in Impulse Control™™

31: What kept you sane?
the same 7 musicians on repeat, while noise, plushies and discord calls with my boyfriend 

32: What political issues stirred you the most?
Nope

33: Who did you miss?
DogeDays throughout the year until he moved in 

34: Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2019.
nothing is permanent, no amount of time together will ever be enough

35: Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
No time for giving eulogies
No time for a second chance
No time for mixed apologies
Tonight we're gold

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think happy thoughts and we’ll fly home

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? what is a parent
02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? William! I missed that dork ;v;
03: Do you regret anything? what is a Regret
04: Are you insecure? no I'm Luca
05: What is your relationship status? DogeDays (+crushing hel p)
06: How do you want to die? what is Death
07: What did you last eat? food, unfortunately
08: Played any sports? Never
09: Do you bite your nails? I physically can't
10: When was your last physical fight? about 3 years ago
11: Do you like someone? besides my boyfriend uhhhm Yes, actually (help)
12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? I once had a panic attack that kept me awake for 60 hours
13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? VexFox (on here), urieddikulus (twitter), discobones (twitter + instagram) uhh Ronnie Radke, Onision uhhhhh
14: Do you miss someone? I miss IDK How ) :
15: Have any pets? what's an animal
16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? feelings are a Government Conspiracy
17: Ever made out in the bathroom? not Yet )^: it sounds fun
18: Are you scared of spiders? as long as they don't touch or sneak up on me, no
19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Time is a social construct
20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? my room in October
21: What are your plans for this weekend? babe's moving in Babe's moving in BABE'S MOVING IN BA
22: Do you want to have kids? How many? Childbearing is a Social Construct
23: Do you have piercings? How many? one in my upper lip, one in my eyebrow and 3 empty holes in each ear
24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? school
25: Do you miss anyone from your past? The PAST is a SOCIAL C-
26: What are you craving right now? the attention of MCR pls
27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? I don't believe in hearts
28: Have you ever been cheated on? not that I'm aware of
29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? p*nis basket
30: What’s irritating you right now? this fleshy, corporal form from whence I can only escape through death
31: Does somebody love you? many somebodies <3
32: What is your favourite color? PANSEXUAL
33: Do you have trust issues? trust is for shills
34: Who/what was your last dream about? Dreaming is for the feeble HahAhAha wait 
35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? twitter
36: Do you give out second chances too easily? nah that's expensive
37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? no
38: Is this year the best year of your life? in spite of my declining health, yes
39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 20
40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? not since I was 3 years old
51: Favourite food? cancelled
52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? we are all God's children and he left us in a hot car
53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? time is an illusion
54: Is cheating ever okay? no
55: Are you mean? fuck off Karen
56: How many people have you fist fought? n none
57: Do you believe in true love? that's Gay
58: Favourite weather? ssStormy
59: Do you like the snow? nO
60: Do you wanna get married? thats GaY
61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? only one boy
62: What makes you happy? the feline species
63: Would you change your name? YES bitch
64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? ok apparently I can't read I meant No
65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? war crimes
66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? nuh
67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? my nurse
68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? William
69: Do you believe in soulmates? I believe in DogeDays 
70: Is there anyone you would die for? again
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⏤⏤⏤ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑎𝑠𝑖𝑐𝑠 ⏷
⏵ name: 
Luca
⏵ age: 21
⏵ pronouns: they or he preferred, all others accepted
⏵ sexual/romantic orientation: DemiPansexual, GreyAromantic
⏵ personality: Sarcastic, antagonistic, stubborn, fiercely loyal to the handful of people I trust, totally closed off to everyone else
⏵ height: 5'8''
⏵ birthday: January the Twenty-Fifth

⏤⏤⏤ 𝑦𝑒𝑠 𝑜𝑟 𝑛𝑜 ⏷
⏵ fruits are better than vegetables:
 No
⏵ the perfect vacation is one where you are at home: for the first time in my life, yes
⏵ school is enjoyable: Yes, unless you vanish for 3 weeks to process repressed trauma and mourn the death of your familiar
⏵ everybody needs to get married and have kids to be a true adult: That's a gross way of thinking please say sike
⏵ old memes are enjoyable at times: Old memes are enjoyable always
⏵ sometimes lying is a necessary evil: No, and omitting parts of the truth isn't lying
⏵ junk food is disgusting: Only if it needs to be cooked in a microwave

⏤⏤⏤ 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑠 ⏷
⏵ animal: 
cA t s
⏵ colour: Purple
⏵ cartoon: Uh do Gorillaz music videos count
⏵ game: The Legend of Spyro trilogy
⏵ website: Youtube
⏵ fictional character: My current top 3 are King Jareth (Labyrinth), Dr. Frank-N-Furter (RHPS) and Eric Draven (The Crow)
⏵ band/artist: Frank Iero, Ice Nine Kills, Ghost, My Chemical Romance (!!!!!!) and Twenty One Pilots

⏤⏤⏤ 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑓... ⏷
⏵ you suddenly were selected to win one million dollars: 
Invest in slowing climate change and getting trans kids out of transphobic homes
⏵ one of your favourite musical artists died: Shrink away into a hole and never emerge
⏵ you tripped and fell in front of your idol: Apologize for the disruption and never interact with them again
⏵ something you were working hard on for a while got ruined: This hasn't happened to me since I stopped working hard on things (^:< checkmate atheists
⏵ your favourite website got shut down: Drastically reevaluate my career options
⏵ one of your friends visited you right now: Lock them out of my room, rush to make myself presentable and Do My Best to enjoy the occassion 
⏵ you sneezed on somebody: Apologize and keep their face at arm's length for several months

⏤⏤⏤ 𝑠𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑠 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ⏷
⏵ 01: 
I have 3 tattoos
⏵ 02: I have 2 piercings, neither of which are in my ears
⏵ 03: I'm doing well in college for once
⏵ 04: I am currenly unemployed
⏵ 05: I've been a practicing witch for about a year now
⏵ 06: I have a brain injury
⏵ 07: I also have a spinal cord injury 

⏤⏤⏤ 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦... ⏷
⏵ an unpopular opinion you have: 
Detransitioned TERFs deserve some amount of sympathy
⏵ a popular opinion you have: Cis TERFs do not
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uffins



redoing this:
He says he's surrounded by unhappy dogsThis meme is turning into a Meme
→ General . . .
❥⚬R͟e͟a͟l͟ N͟a͟m͟e͟: I recently started introducing myself as Lu to people in person and it's ni c e
❥⚬A͟g͟e͟: Still a teen (just barely) and it blows 
❥⚬R͟a͟c͟e͟: German-Italian-Scottish-Japanese-Hawaiian mutt, raised by Mexicans. It's complicated af
❥⚬N͟a͟t͟i͟o͟n͟a͟l͟i͟t͟y: Embarassing
❥⚬R͟e͟l͟i͟g͟i͟o͟n͟: Spiritual, not religious 
❥⚬S͟t͟a͟t͟u͟s͟: Like... relationship? Single. except I alMOSt called Jay my boyfriend today when I was talking to a co-worker Please End Me
❥⚬B͟i͟r͟t͟h͟d͟a͟y͟: 25 January 1998
❥⚬Z͟o͟d͟i͟a͟c͟: Aquarius sun, Capricorn moon, Cancer ri




→ General . . .

❥⚬R͟e͟a͟l͟ N͟a͟m͟e͟: Luca but I haven't settled on the spelling yet so p l e ase just call me Lu ok, ok
❥⚬A͟g͟e͟: No longer a teen!! how bout that huh
❥⚬R͟a͟c͟e͟: born Italian, German, Portuguese, Mexican and Hawaiian; raised primarily Mexican
❥⚬N͟a͟t͟i͟o͟n͟a͟l͟i͟t͟y: let's go with Mexican
❥⚬R͟e͟l͟i͟g͟i͟o͟n͟: none, but I do practice witchcraft!
❥⚬S͟t͟a͟t͟u͟s͟: can you beLIEVE teenage Lu predicted the actual future wtf
❥⚬B͟i͟r͟t͟h͟d͟a͟y͟: 25 January 1998
❥⚬Z͟o͟d͟i͟a͟c͟: Aquarius sun, Capricorn moon, Cancer rising and Idr what else oops (I'm sorry Jay)
❥⚬H͟a͟i͟r͟ C͟o͟l͟o͟r͟: it's gonna be black soon!! finally
❥⚬E͟y͟e͟ C͟o͟l͟o͟r͟: dark brown usually, hazel when I'm overexcited(?), green when I'm physically distressed
❥⚬H͟a͟v͟e͟ T͟a͟t͟t͟o͟o͟s͟?: 2 NOW!!! look at ya boy going places
❥⚬P͟i͟e͟r͟c͟i͟n͟g͟s͟?: outer left eyebrow + a medusa which has irremovably grown into my lip (: (: (:
❥⚬W͟e͟a͟r͟ G͟l͟a͟s͟s͟e͟s͟?: yes and they're fuckin Swanky

→ Do You . . .

❥⚬W͟r͟i͟t͟e͟?: a lot more than I used to, but still not enough
❥⚬R͟o͟l͟e͟p͟l͟a͟y͟?: exclusively in d&d rfjkhnfhljkop sorry furries
❥⚬S͟i͟n͟g͟?: much to the chagrin of those around me, yes! c:
❥⚬D͟r͟a͟w͟?: perhaps not as much as I should be for someone trying to improve but yeee
❥⚬E͟d͟i͟t͟?: compulsively and counterintuitively 
❥⚬E͟x͟e͟r͟c͟i͟s͟e͟?: I stretch! I'd say that counts
❥⚬P͟l͟a͟y͟ S͟p͟o͟r͟t͟s͟?: ew no
❥⚬D͟a͟n͟c͟e͟?: as best I can, given the confines of my chair. usually in mosh pits where everyone's flailing anyway
❥⚬R͟e͟a͟d͟?: uhhhhh do e-mags count
❥⚬W͟o͟r͟k͟?: I do and not to be dramatic but I resent my job as Charon resents having to man the styx
❥⚬B͟l͟o͟g͟?: not frequently
❥⚬D͟r͟i͟n͟k͟?: of course I do I'm an Adult™
❥⚬C͟o͟o͟k͟?: I know how but am physically unable 
❥⚬B͟a͟k͟e?: like I just said-
❥⚬P͟l͟a͟y͟ a͟n͟ I͟n͟s͟t͟r͟u͟m͟e͟n͟t͟?: I play several digital instruments in GarageBand


→Favorite . . . 

❥⚬C͟o͟l͟o͟r͟(s)?: teal, turquoise and whatever else falls in that range
❥⚬A͟n͟i͟m͟a͟l͟?: cats! I love them and want 100
❥⚬B͟o͟o͟k͟?: any cyberpunk book
❥⚬M͟o͟v͟i͟e͟?: The Shape of Water
❥⚬A͟n͟i͟m͟e͟?: "anime is for wEeAbOos" he scoffs, clutching his Death The Kid pillow.
❥⚬T͟V͟ S͟h͟o͟w͟?: it doesn't play on TV anymore but Lucifer
❥⚬C͟h͟a͟r͟a͟c͟t͟e͟r͟?: every character ever played by Doug Jones or Sean Astin
❥⚬A͟r͟t͟i͟s͟t͟?: my dad, my boyfriend, my housemate, my cousin and my sister. And Taj Bourgeois. And Jamie Hewlett. And-
❥⚬S͟o͟n͟g͟?: today it's Moto Pop by Frank Iero
❥⚬S͟i͟n͟g͟e͟r͟?: Frank Iero, but Dallon's definitely still up there
❥⚬B͟a͟n͟d͟?:  Frank Iero and the..........
❥⚬M͟a͟n͟g͟a͟?: I don't read manga 
❥⚬A͟c͟t͟o͟r͟?: Sean Astin and, in a shocking turn of events, Doug Jones
❥⚬S͟u͟b͟j͟e͟c͟t͟?: all manner of paranormal science and cryptozoology
❥⚬S͟c͟e͟n͟t͟?: it depends on the season but either vanilla, citrus, cinnamon, coffee or pine
❥⚬F͟o͟o͟d͟?: ramen, I'd say sushi and tempura as well but seafood consumption is poisoning the ocean so,... .. 
❥⚬D͟r͟i͟n͟k͟?: Coffee
❥⚬Q͟u͟o͟t͟e͟?: "yeet" - internet millennials

→ Romance~

❥⚬S͟e͟x͟u͟a͟l͟i͟t͟y͟?: Demi(bi/pan)sexual
❥⚬C͟r͟u͟s͟h͟i͟n͟g͟?: on several people lm a  o
❥⚬B͟f͟/G͟f͟: DogeDays 
❥⚬E͟v͟e͟r͟ G͟e͟t͟ M͟a͟r͟r͟i͟e͟d͟?: uhM 
❥⚬H͟a͟v͟e͟ k͟i͟d͟s͟?: neh
❥⚬D͟i͟v͟o͟r͟ce?: never
❥⚬I͟r͟l͟ o͟r͟ O͟n͟l͟i͟n͟e͟?: yes


→ This or That~

❥⚬T͟e͟a͟ o͟r͟ C͟o͟f͟f͟e͟e͟?: yes
❥⚬W͟i͟i͟ o͟r͟ X͟b͟o͟x͟?: Steam for laptop
❥⚬H͟a͟r͟r͟y͟ P͟o͟t͟t͟e͟r͟ o͟r͟ P͟e͟r͟c͟y͟ J͟a͟c͟k͟s͟o͟n͟?: in spite of the toxic waste dump that is J.K. Rowling, I choose Harry Potter
❥⚬F͟l͟o͟w͟e͟r͟s͟ o͟r͟ C͟h͟o͟c͟o͟l͟a͟t͟e͟s͟?: Attention
❥⚬M͟o͟n͟e͟y͟ o͟r͟ P͟r͟e͟s͟e͟n͟t͟s͟?: A t t e n t i o n ™
❥⚬G͟a͟m͟e͟ B͟o͟y͟ o͟r͟ D͟S͟?: DS Emulator for laptop
❥⚬D͟e͟s͟k͟t͟o͟p͟ o͟r͟ L͟a͟p͟t͟o͟p͟?: laptop 
❥⚬Co͟u͟n͟t͟r͟y͟ o͟r͟ J͟a͟z͟z͟?: jazz if I'm getting high, country if I'm literally dead so Idk I Guess It Depends
❥⚬E͟a͟r͟b͟u͟d͟s͟ o͟r͟ H͟e͟a͟d͟p͟h͟o͟n͟e͟s͟?: living on my own requires neither!! because I'm fREE!!!! it's a boxing day miracle
❥⚬D͟o͟g͟ o͟r͟ C͟a͟t͟?: cat(s), plural
❥⚬S͟o͟d͟a͟ o͟r͟ J͟u͟i͟c͟e͟?: coffee
❥⚬H͟o͟t͟ T͟o͟p͟i͟c͟ o͟r͟ A͟e͟r͟o͟p͟o͟s͟t͟a͟l͟e͟?: Hot Topic, always, like the emo garbage I am
❥⚬P͟u͟b͟l͟i͟c͟ o͟r͟ P͟r͟i͟v͟a͟t͟e͟ S͟c͟h͟o͟o͟l͟?: "fuck school!" they cry, awaiting their college textbook
❥⚬B͟a͟c͟o͟n͟ o͟r͟ S͟a͟u͟s͟a͟g͟e͟?: it's kind of awful for The Environment™™ but bacon
❥⚬M͟u͟f͟f͟i͟n͟ o͟r͟ Scone?: mmmmmmmm cheesy muffin
❥⚬S͟l͟e͟e͟p͟ o͟r͟ N͟e͟x͟t͟ E͟p͟i͟s͟o͟d͟e͟?: next episode jhkhgf obviously
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